If A Clockwork Orange were A Cockwork Orange

Jimbo Sweeney would always be up for a bit of the old "ultraviolence."

Q: If a cock falls in the forest, does Jim Sweeney make a sound?

A: Yeah, "mmmmfmmmfmfmmmmmmfffmmmmmmm."

If country clubs were cock clubs

Jim Sweeney's would not be very exclusive at all.

If architecture were cockitecture

Jim Sweeney's entire structure would be "load-bearing."
(Conceptual inspiration by Uncle Destroyer)

If fossil fuels were cocks

Jim Sweeney would be a one-man energy crisis.

If Jim Sweeney was a Transformer

He would roll around town flaunting his amazing ability to morph from a big gay truck into a big gay robot.

If diamonds were cocks

Jim Sweeney's grill would be all fucking "iced-out."